A Turning Point for Any Marriage

Two unique people enter marriage with distinct personalities, backstories, and preferences. Over time, those differences begin to surface.

Each spouse will sometimes misunderstand, feel misunderstood, and be misunderstood. The loving covenant they entered before God and their church can begin to feel like it’s operating below its full potential.

Biblical counselors often emphasize identifying personal sin and idolatry, confessing it, and forsaking it in order to grow in holiness within marriage. This model is essential and powerful for couples who are dealing with clear patterns of sin and who need repentance and renewal. However, it can also unintentionally create spiritual guilt for couples who are not sinning against each other, but are simply struggling with differences, miscommunication, and feeling deeply misunderstood.

Christian counselors often add another helpful category: communication skills—learning how to express thoughts and feelings honestly in ways your spouse can hear, understand, and respond to with empathy.

But the vision of marriage is far greater than confessing sins, and building understanding goes even deeper than skills. At its heart, marriage is learning to align with the reality that two have become one.

The goal is not merely to ask, “How satisfied am I?” or “How satisfied are you?”

The deeper question is, “How are we doing as a unified whole?”

Theologically, our marriage is not meant to be measured against other marriages, but to reflect—imperfectly yet meaningfully—the unity we see in God Himself. In Genesis, God declares that it is not good for man to be alone and creates woman in His image. Together, husband and wife reflect God’s likeness in the world. Jesus gives us insight into divine unity when He says that He and the Father are one.

Here’s the turning point: your spouse was made in the image of God, and with the Holy Spirit’s presence, your marriage can reflect a unified community. Marriage imperfectly images trinitarian love.

Your goal is not merely to be understood—that can quietly drift into self-centeredness. Your deeper goal is to build a unified life together. That means growing so connected that you begin to anticipate each other’s needs, understand each other’s hearts, recognize a smile across the room, share a vision, cultivate a culture in your home, and become a blessing in the world.

Are you ready for a turning point?

Start with this question:

“If our marriage were a third person in the room, how would we describe it?”

Would this “person” feel understood? Confident? Loved and loving? Purposeful and focused?

Is the person of your marriage becoming all it could be?

If not, what is one step you and your spouse could take to help your marriage grow?

• Confessing sin and seeking forgiveness?

• Developing better communication?

• Studying God’s design for marriage in Genesis together?