Building A Married Prayer Life

Most Christian married couples want to pray together—but many don’t know how to grow beyond “thank you” prayers at mealtime. Many also struggle to keep going when the habit feels awkward, inconsistent, or intimidating.

The good news is that prayer in marriage doesn’t have to start big to be meaningful. Jesus Himself gave us a simple way forward.

The habit of daily prayer is central to the spiritual life of every believer. In John 15, Jesus teaches that as we learn to abide in Him, He places His joy in us so that our joy may be complete. Prayer is one of the primary ways we learn to abide.

Jesus also taught that prayer is not meant to impress others, but to be a vulnerable, honest expression of our hearts to our Heavenly Father—often in private—where we learn to live out of His love. He taught this because it works.

When two people encounter the love of their Heavenly Father each day, they begin to reflect that love. Over time, they become more loving—like their Father. This positions them to love each other well. That’s why married couples praying together is so powerful.

If praying together feels new—or if you’d like to grow beyond where you are—here are three simple ways to begin.

1. Start with the Words Jesus Taught Us to Pray

Begin by praying the words Jesus gave us. Recite the Lord’s Prayer together from Matthew 6:9–13 if you know it. Slow down. Reflect on the words. Mean what you say—together.

This takes less than 60 seconds and can easily fit into daily life: at bedtime, over breakfast, or even during halftime of a sporting event. What matters most isn’t length or eloquence, but faithfulness and shared intention.

2. Expand on the Principles Jesus Demonstrated

As your prayer habit grows to the next level—about 10–15 minutes—begin expanding on the principles Jesus demonstrated in His own prayer life. Jesus not only taught His disciples what to pray, but also how to pray.

One helpful way to structure this time is by using the acronym ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication.

Adoration Pause after praying, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.” Express gratitude to God for who He is and for His greatness. You might listen to a favorite worship song together, or—if you play instruments—play and sing together. Be sure to thank God specifically for one another. This kind of shared worship draws you closer to God and to each other.

Confession“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”Ask God’s forgiveness together, and also ask forgiveness from your spouse for any way you have fallen short—whether in loving one another as Christ loved the church or in honoring and respecting one another as the church is called to respect Christ.

Then receive God’s forgiveness together by quoting 1 John 1:9:“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Thanksgiving“Yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever.” Praise God for the blessings He has given you. If you can breathe, thank God for that. If you can love, thank God for that. If you’ve had meals to eat, health to work, the privilege of holding a baby, or the responsibility of training a child, thank God for the opportunity and the strength to work alongside Him.

If you have eternal life, thank God for that together. Your marriage is more than a temporary union. Your hope and love are eternal. Expressing gratitude for God’s saving work in Jesus Christ will never grow old.

Supplication“Your kingdom come, Your will be done… Give us this day our daily bread.”

Bring your requests to God—your deepest fears, griefs, hopes, and dreams. If expressing these things out loud feels difficult at first, take time to journal privately. You might ask:

• What am I afraid of?

• What has made me sad?

• What is a hope I have for today or tomorrow?

• What is a dream I have for the future?

God already knows what is on your heart, but praying these things together allows your spouse to know as well. Jesus promised that “where two or three are gathered, there the Holy Spirit is in their midst.”

3. Go on a Prayer Retreat Together

Jesus frequently slipped away to pray. Following His example, a short prayer retreat—an overnight or two-night getaway—can create a powerful environment for prayer and spiritual renewal as a couple.

Keep it simple. Plan easy meals so you can thank God for your daily bread without distraction. Build the retreat around the devotional practices that nourish you most:

• Prayer walks

• Listening to worship music

• Reading books of the Bible

• Journaling

• Finally finishing that good Christian book you bought but never completed

• Sleeping as long as your body needs

• Speaking each other’s love languages with undivided attention

  
  

Divide your time in whatever ratio works best for you as a couple—some time alone with God, and some time together discussing what you’re learning.

If you want to make it a silent retreat, you could simply swap journals at the end of the day. If you’d rather experience everything together, read the same book, listen to the same music, and walk the same paths in prayer. Either way is good.

There is a way this retreat can work for you. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s renewal. Go into it with the mindset of a holy experiment, discovering together what best refreshes your walk with Christ..